As nuptial season approaches you may find yourself having to plan wedding guest outfits for the onslaught of festivities ahead of you. And while I’ve got mine sorted (see here), I got to thinking about the various weddings I’ve attended, and the various tables I’ve been placed at by the bride and groom. I noticed a pattern forming, and have narrowed them down to the five main types of tables. Not only that, I have come up with your social strategy should you be allocated a seat at any of them.
1. the trash table
I’ve started off with the worse table category, because basically it can only get better from here. The Trash Table is the table where you get the strong impression that when the bride and groom finalised the seating plan there were about eight people left who didn’t fit neatly onto any other table. The answer to this dilemma is the Trash Table. A miscellaneous group of wedding guest misfits, strewn across the one table, in a desperate attempt to make the table numbers even.
I am not immune to the Trash Table. I myself was once allocate a spot amongst this collection of randos. Seated to my left was the most boring couple I have ever met in my life. To my right was a seventeen year old cousin, who I strongly suspected was on the spectrum. Other miscellaneous Trash Table guests included a random divorced uncle and miscellaneous work friends of the bride, who talk about work. At a wedding.
Strategy: if you find yourself at the Trash Table, my advice to you is to do what I did – infiltrate the A Table…
2. the a table
From the worst of wedding seating arrangements to the very best, there is the A Table. The A Table is full of the most glamorous, fun and interesting people at the event. You can pick the A Table a mile away because they are all having the most fun. Raucous laughter erupts from this table every other minute, style and panache oozes from the wedding guest outfits.
Strategy: if you’re seated at the A Table, you’re guaranteed an epic evening. You don’t need to do much, other than sit back and enjoy evening in style.
3. the family table
Depending on how much you like your family, the Family Table can be the most relaxed of all the wedding tables. It’s the table filled only with family members of either the bride or groom. And what better way to spend an evening than with the people you with whom you can just be yourself?
As my family loves a party, and loves to get rowdy, our Family Table can rival the A Table in terms of fun levels. From my point of view, the family table rocks.
Strategy: start the drinking games early.
4. The University Table
I like this table too. It’s where the other guests at the table consist of the friends you hung out with at university. Old nicknames are revived (just when you thought you’d escaped it forever), and the embarrassing stories just keep on rolling.
Strategy: Resist the urge to revert to university-level drinking games and behaviour. Keep reminding yourself, “I’m all grown up now…”
5. the singles table
I always commend my friends who go to the effort of placing their single friends on the same table in an effort at matchmaking. It’s a risky strategy though. I’ve had one single friend take offence at the quality of the other singles who were at her table. I, on the other hand, have seen Single Table seating arrangements at their very best. A few years ago, having been placed on the singles table, I saw all members meet their match – for some it was a match of the one-night variety, and for others, it resulted in a wedding further down the track. Single Table success!
Strategy: do a little re-con prior to everyone sitting down and switch the name cards around strategically.
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